Shame based management style

Deming has a robust academic background including a BS in Electrical Engineering, a Masters in both mathematics and physics, along with Ph. Early in my IT career, our most senior engineer was a Russian immigrant. He was a versatile and talented guru in numerous areas. Chekhov was the classic lone wolf who learned everything he knew the hard way.

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Content:

• Styles of Leadership, Fears of Compassion, and Competing to Avoid Inferiority
• Move Away From Shame-Based Management to Inspire Productivity
• Shame on us for shaming people with excess weight
• 6.2 Obedience, Power, and Leadership
• Collective Spiral of Unacknowledged Shame
• Shame in the Workplace: What Every Leader Needs to Know
• Self-management through shame – uniting governmentality studies and the 'affective turn'

Styles of Leadership, Fears of Compassion, and Competing to Avoid Inferiority

What makes a great leader? A transformational leader can see the opportunities in turmoil and inspire people to follow them to a better future. This has never been more important than in our current world situation. Even worse than that, however, is a destructive or toxic leader. These individuals see only the potential for self-enhancement, exploiting others to maximize their gain. Cleary, toxic leadership styles need to be avoided at all costs.

What causes these negative leadership patterns? And how can you be aware of these and avoid hiring this type of leader? As mentioned, there is a difference between incompetent leaders and destructive ones. However, four clues will help you identify toxic boss characteristics earlier.

Each of these clues reflects behaviors and attitudes that can reveal the hidden damaging nature of an otherwise seemingly competent leader.

Our characteristics are inherited in our DNA and influenced by the environment in which we grew up. When these patterns become habitual, responses to them become unhealthy. For example, if someone experienced excessive criticism in their early development, the ego would record a perception of being diminished by important caregivers.

In return, this would provide a heightened sense that their very survival depends on not being criticized. This could easily lead to obsessively seeking superiority in all situations to alleviate the fear of feeling inferior.

As humans, we experience imperfect systems—no matter how wonderful our upbringing, most of us bring traces of fear into adulthood. These fear behaviors can puzzle and very often annoy others. Toxic leaders have little interest in how they are perceived, so they are rarely interested in how they could improve. This, as you can imagine, is a big problem.

Generally, healthy leaders have some annoying habits. But when you look beneath the surface, two major things set these leaders apart from destructive leaders. Healthy leaders:. As we look closely at the four clues of toxic leaders, keep this in mind. Is the leader well-intended and willing to work on themselves?

If so, they are likely trying to serve their organization the best they can, even if they need to learn additional leadership skills. Frequently this negative pattern arises from an adult stuck in a childhood dilemma around not getting enough attention from caregivers. The result is an individual with an insatiable attention-seeking appetite and an inflated need to be special, unique, or novel.

Instead of following appropriately, they become rebellious and provocative, conning others into going along with their fantastic plans. When they are in the limelight, it can be exceedingly uncomfortable because they also unconsciously fail to believe they are impressive enough. So, they attract attention, initiate excessive activity, and then thwart the attention this draws. This pattern makes them unpredictable, so the climate they create around them is chaotic and confusing for others.

This destructive pattern arises from a childhood dilemma about not getting enough approval and acceptance. This results in insatiable approval-seeking and an excessive need to be liked by everyone, even strangers.

The inner fear is to be rejected or ridiculed by others as unlovable by those who matter. Because they perceive themselves as being unacceptable to others, they feel powerless and unworthy of care.

These destructive leaders are challenging to work with because they put extreme energy into taking care of or helping others with an unstated expectation that there will be a reward in return. For example, they take care of someone with the expectation that the other person will take the responsibility of making decisions for them. However, they may not tell the other person this expectation. This destructive pattern arises from a childhood dilemma about not getting enough autonomy and power over circumstances because of controlling authority figures.

This dilemma results in insatiable power-seeking and an excessive need to dominate others or even objectify them. Instead of valuing other human beings, they see them as objects that are useful to their objectives and manipulate them.

They fear being considered weak or vulnerable. Because they need to perceive themselves as all-powerful, they seek to be the heroic warrior who will save others, when the real underlying intent is to protect themselves from their deep-seated fear of vulnerability. They end up feeling angry at anyone who shows signs of weakness or being human in any way, in favor of demonstrating impenetrable vitality that is invincible.

These destructive leaders are challenging to work with because they demand unquestioning loyalty. They will use their power to protect others from harm, but they require absolute subservience in return. They disregard moral values that may get in their way, and they expect those around them not to question them and do the same. They are aggressive toward anyone who shows a lack of loyalty in any way. The disloyal are dismissed and disregarded quickly. A childhood dilemma about not being smart enough to make logical choices because authority figures consistently discount them contributes to this destructive leadership style.

This results in insatiable status-seeking and an excessive need to be seen as important by others. The inner fear is being seen as insignificant, which is painful because it implies that you are less than others or not enough. Because they see this as intolerable, they do everything in their power to earn external credentials that will prove outward signs of accomplishment. These destructive leaders are challenging to work with because they set standards so high that nothing and no one can ever be good enough.

The insatiable desire to outwit others and prove them wrong leads to an uncertain, withholding climate. The focus is a negative perspective on everything.

Tossing out objections immediately becomes the norm, and the unintended consequence is avoiding the work required to do everything right. If you recognize these patterns in your current leadership team, you may want to be cautious.

Remember that toxic leaders are more than just annoying. They are intentionally self-serving to the detriment of others. Understanding their motivations can help you recognize when they are using you to satisfy their unconscious internal fears. You can use this knowledge to create a strategy to interact with them in a way that minimizes damage to yourself.

If you see some of these clues in yourself, all is not lost. Most people can identify with one or two of these patterns. But if they become extreme, they will eventually hurt you and everyone around you. Destructive patterns may create short-term wins but will not help you in the long run because they are not sustainable. However, if you are aware of these tendencies, you can move past these fear-based behaviors with conscious development.

You have the choice to stop fear from controlling your actions and decisions if you commit to becoming a better leader. Curious which unconscious fear tendencies come naturally to you? Take the True Tilt Personality Profile to learn more.

You may save yourself from sabotaging your career by not realizing how hidden fears drive your patterns. You can also schedule a call with us today to discuss toxic and destructive leadership by clicking here.

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Move Away From Shame-Based Management to Inspire Productivity

Anger and resentment across your team can make an already stressful leadership job feel worse. With so much instability in the workplace these days, you may feel untethered in your daily job responsibilities as well as your long-term career. And when insecurity leads to frustration, it can be hard to keep your temper. In addition, recent research from Gallup reported that daily rates of anger, stress, worry, and sadness among American workers have risen over the past decade. But the past couple of years has brought uniquely acute frustration factors for employees and leaders, including working through the pandemic, concerns over racial justice, and increased turnover in the workplace. One recent study highlighted the clash between leaders and employees over working from home and predicts the conflict around hybrid work policies across teams will only heighten in the future. Here are some recommendations to try when you realize your team is upset.

Shame on us for shaming people with excess weight

Ariane Resnick, CNC is a mental health writer, certified nutritionist, and wellness author who advocates for accessibility and inclusivity. Body shaming is the act of saying something negative about a person's body. It can be about your own body or someone else's. The commentary can be about a person's size, age, hair, clothes, food, hair, or level of perceived attractiveness. Body shaming can lead to mental health issues including eating disorders , depression, anxiety, low self-esteem , and body dysmorphia, as well as the general feeling of hating one's body. In our current society, many people think that thin bodies are inherently better and healthier than larger bodies. Historically, however, that hasn't always been the case.

6.2 Obedience, Power, and Leadership

You haven't yet saved any bookmarks. To bookmark a post, just click. Leaders are the decision-makers in any organization, and every leader follows a type of leadership style depending on their attributes and personality traits. Today, we discuss Laissez-Faire leadership and its hands-off approach, characteristics, advantages, and disadvantages. While autocratic leadership is considered demeaning and overpowering, laissez-faire leadership is quite the opposite.

Collective Spiral of Unacknowledged Shame

Anger is a universal emotion. We all feel annoyed, frustrated or outraged from time to time. Anger is a lot more complex and nuanced than that. Anger is a feeling that can be channelled helpfully, or it can be expressed in ways that compound negative consequences. These include:.

Shame in the Workplace: What Every Leader Needs to Know

A portal to understanding the emotions and experiences that make us human. Home base for anyone looking to step up and into brave leadership. Tools to bring courage-building learnings into the classroom. Writings, conversations, and resources bundled around curated themes. This is Part 1 of a two-part series, where I unpack the most common types of armor, including being a knower versus being a learner, tapping out of hard conversation versus skilling up and leaning in, and using shame and blame to manage others versus using accountability and empathy. Join me for a conversation that includes real examples and actionable strategies about how we can dare to lead. So Part 1 of a two-part special. Just me, and I want us to talk about armor.

Self-management through shame – uniting governmentality studies and the 'affective turn'

When their ability to be kind to themselves is blocked by a punishing inner critic? Well, Laura Silberstein-Tirch, PsyD uses two powerful interventions from compassion-focused therapy to help her clients heal shame. Laura shares exactly what she did to help him end the cycle of shame-based paralysis and isolation.

Trust in the workplace has been emerging as one of the most popular topics since the beginning of the current pandemic. But how to successfully build trust in the workplace with geographically dispersed teams? In the same Edelman research, it was also discovered that trust decreases from top positions to the lowest. In other words, employees trust their peers more than the CEOs and upper-level executives. The higher up you go, the more critical it is for you to build trust with those that you supervise. In this blog, you will learn more about the importance of trust in the workplace, as well as some best practices around how to build and maintain trust.

Skip to search form Skip to main content Skip to account menu. Poulson Published Business Shame as an emotion has been under-explored until recently and its role in the workplace unexplored. This paper examines several major theoretical approaches to understanding shame as an emotion and how its effects are triggered in individuals Two cognitive models of shame Lewis, ; Nathanson, are integrated to provide a base for understanding the shame process with application to the workplace. Based upon conjecture and personal observation, a number of potential shame triggers in… Expand. Save to Library Save. Create Alert Alert.

Since the invasion of Ukraine began, we have been tracking the responses of well over 1, companies, and counting. Over 1, companies have publicly announced they are voluntarily curtailing operations in Russia to some degree beyond the bare minimum legally required by international sanctions — but some companies have continued to operate in Russia undeterred. Originally a simple "withdraw" vs.